AM I ?

So upon my arrival in Costa Rica, my thoughts have been wandering A LOT! It seems that even after only one short week, Satan is already throwing punches at me. And if it’s ok, I am going to be really transparent for a moment. The past few days I have found myself questioning why I am even here!? Crazy, I know! I mean really Leah?! After all of the hard work, fund raising, months of waiting, praying, and pleading for this moment, am I really questioning it? Yep. That’s right. Questions of "what have I gotten myself into? And "when do I get to go home?" ALREADY!  Other questions like "Am I qualified"?, "Am I really here"?, "Am I going to make it", "Am I ready for this"? A lot of "AM I's", if I do say so myself. So with that being said, tonight during prayer and through all of the "AM I's", I saw something really neat and I would like to share it with you.

"AM I?" If you think about it, almost every sentence that starts with these two small words is a question. Now just for fun I looked up the word "question" in the dictionary. It can be defined in a few different ways, but one definition really stuck out to me. A "question" is simply defined as uncertainty or doubt. Now since "AM I" usually starts off a question, I think we can agree that these "AM I" questions promote a certain level of doubt and uncertainty. And just like any question, they also need an answer. Even something simple like, "AM I driving, or are you?". Even here, the person driving needs an answer for something they are unsure about. Now, if you are still with me, this is when it gets interesting. Simply take these two words and swap them....... You get "I AM". Pretty amazing! And yes I am pretty and amazing. hahaha just kidding. Not talking about me here! It's pretty amazing that with one little swap, what seemed so unsure becomes crystal clear. The same two words, but "I AM" screams boldness and authority. It's knowing that you know! "I AM" leaves no room for uncertainty or doubt!

Now for my favorite part. As I was speaking to the Lord in "AM I"s, I was simply reminded of the great "I AM"! Jesus Christ. All throughout the Bible He is referred to as the great "I AM". In the Old Testament in Exodus 3:14 we are introduced to the "I AM” when it is referenced as the name of God the Father. Then in the New Testament, the Name Above All Names, JESUS is referred to as the "I AM"

Particularly In John, Jesus says:

I AM the bread of life (6:35, 48). I AM the light of the world (8:58). I AM the door (10:7, 9). I AM the good shepherd (10: 11, 14). I AM the resurrection and the life (11:25). I AM the way, the truth, and the life (14:6). I AM the true vine (15:1, 5). 

And then one of my favorite scriptures! In Luke 9:20, Jesus says, "Who do you say that I-AM?' I just love the word of God so much because it has all of the answers we need. I sometimes get irritated when people answer a question with a question. You know what I'm talking about. haha I just want the direct answer. But this particular question answered every question I had. Jesus isn’t asking the question with doubt because He knows exactly who He is. He is asking it so that we may know who He is! Every uncertainty and doubt disappeared when I had this little reminder of who Jesus is! He is the great "I AM". Satan has no place in my thoughts! I know that I am a servant of the great "I AM". I know that with His help I am going to make it! I am ready for this! And most importantly, I know who He is to me and who I am because of Him. 

I Love You Too Much!

I'M HERE!!!! Costa Rrrrrrrrica!! A little emphasis on the "R's" because I need to learn to roll them. haha. This past Wednesday after only a 3-hour flight and a scary experience with customs I arrived safely to Costa Rica to begin Language School. I am really excited for the next 8 months because I believe God is going to do so much in my life in preparation for Ecuador! The first day here I had to complete an entrance exam to see what level of Spanish I will be placed in. Classes range from intermediate or beginner to advanced. They include, grammar, preaching, literature, conversation, & more! Let's just say, I am going to LEARN A LOT! 

Some people may be curious why I am in language school especially with the last name Diaz and also my Cubana background. Well numero uno, It is a requirement from the Assemblies of God. Numero dos, learning  is a GREAT thing! There are so many benefits from being here. Not only am I learning the language, I am learning it the proper way. I am also learning about the different different Latin cultures and what missions is all about. This entire experience has changed my life and it has only just begun! I have truly realized that people sacrifice so much for the Gospel. Living in another country is not glamorous. Yes, there are the perks of the delicious food and beautiful things to see, but beyond that leaving the comforts of home are never easy.  I don't have enough experience to tell you what I don't know yet. But, I can tell you that there are truly amazing people doing so much, for so little, and I am humbled to be around them! I am so amazed that I am here. I keep telling people to pinch me. haha. There were so many times that it seemed impossible to raise a budget, but with God ALL things are possible! 

Now for numero tres! Spanish is my first language. I feel like not knowing it completely is like missing part of who I am. When I left on Wednesday, my sweet nana brought me to the airport. She grew up in Cuba and barely knows English. She is one of the most incredible women I know. She is 86 years old and works harder than anyone I know. She does her very best to communicate with me in English. I on the other hand could try a little harder to communicate in Spanish. When I had to say goodbye my nana was in tears. Through her tears and broken English she said the sweetest words...... "I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH" hahaha. I wish you could hear her say that. It is so funny because it's almost like she is saying I should love you a little less. However, I know exactly what she means. She means that she loves me sooooooo much and she tries so hard to say it in a way that I can understand!  So all in all, it is my desire to know this language because I LOVE GOD TOO MUCH, I love my family TOO much, I love people TOO much, and I love what God has called me to do TOO much! I am going to do my best so that others can understand what it is they need to hear.

Great things are happening! Please keep me in your prayers! I already miss home and your beautiful faces of course! I will keep you updated when classes starts on Monday and once I get involved with ministry in Costa Rica. Also, please remember Ecuador as you pray! My heart is there waiting for me to arrive once I finish school! Thank you!!!


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Here are some pics of the last few days…. Enjoy!

Me and My Nana

My Apartment

My First Costa Rican Meal

For less than $5 you can go to the zoo.

The Monos!

Its sooooo green here!

Food is EXPENSIVE! So now I shop at the local Market!

Costa Rican Coffee Pot!

So Happy to be Here